I recently came across Nkosi’s haven, set up in the name of Xolani Nkosi, an African boy who died in 2001 of an AIDS related illness. He travelled the world with his foster mother, Gail Johnson, to help get rid of the taboo around the disease. Johnson first met Nkosi when he was a baby in a care centre where his birth mother was dying.
“It was a very personal and mutual understanding,” she said. “I had had a graphic encounter with an Aids death close to my family, and I wanted to do something more than just talk about it. And there was Nkosi. All I had to do was to reach out to him.”
He was with her for nine years, during which period I’m sure she came to care about him but I remember her saying once that although he was exhausted from his illness, she pushed him to do more because it was important he get his message across. In some ways, I suppose that’s true but humanity should have come first especially as he was a child. I couldn’t help feeling at the time that as good a person as she was, there was still the impersonal mistress/servant attitude that allowed her to urge him to perform even though he was ill. Some parents also push an adopted or foster child in ways they wouldn’t use their own offspring. I don't know if this was the case with Johnson but if it was and even for the greater good of others, this wouldn't make it right.
Eight years ago, I was with a couple of American friends in Kenya. The camp we were at organised two safaris a day, one in the morning and one in the afternoon so the drivers could have a break inbetween. If there were signs of wildebeest crossing a river then we’d go out by exception on an all day trip. However that wasn’t enough for my friends who tipped the drivers extra to persuade them to take us out all day, every day. I protested because it was an extra burden on the rangers, to which one friend replied, “They’re used to it,” and, “He can have a nap in the jeep.” I don’t know if you’ve ever tried it but sleeping in a vehicle is never as comfortable as lying down on a bed. Anyway, she fell out with me after that because my objections made her feel guilty and spoiled the trip she looked forward to all year long.
It’s not only Americans who think like this but the derogatory manner towards servants and staff is pervasive throughout society so it’s no wonder that some people of African origin are still angry. No other nation has been as widely used for slavery as theirs and given that it’s only about fifty years since blacks were given the vote in USA, twenty since the end of Apartheid in RSA, the memory of inequality is still fresh. If we are to remember the Holocaust in WWII we shouldn’t be dismissive of the global indignity forced on Africans.
As for Sri Lankans, we’re treated like pond life by Arabs, even in Sri Lanka, because that’s how our maids are treated in the Middle East. An attitude encouraged by Rajapaksa's government, who only this yeawr banned women under 25 from going abroad to work in menial jobs, because of the inhumane way they are treated.
When I first wrote this blog, the issue seemed to be one about race but after looking at it in more detail, the core problem is to do with the master/servant relationship. I can’t see how this attitude can change organically. Servants will always be thought of as inferior, whether by their own people or by other races; and this is something I've felt quite strongly about since a child, as do others I've met who lived around servants. The most we can do is educate and legislate to protect basic human rights, which is all the more difficult when issues cross international borders or different races.
“It was a very personal and mutual understanding,” she said. “I had had a graphic encounter with an Aids death close to my family, and I wanted to do something more than just talk about it. And there was Nkosi. All I had to do was to reach out to him.”
He was with her for nine years, during which period I’m sure she came to care about him but I remember her saying once that although he was exhausted from his illness, she pushed him to do more because it was important he get his message across. In some ways, I suppose that’s true but humanity should have come first especially as he was a child. I couldn’t help feeling at the time that as good a person as she was, there was still the impersonal mistress/servant attitude that allowed her to urge him to perform even though he was ill. Some parents also push an adopted or foster child in ways they wouldn’t use their own offspring. I don't know if this was the case with Johnson but if it was and even for the greater good of others, this wouldn't make it right.
Eight years ago, I was with a couple of American friends in Kenya. The camp we were at organised two safaris a day, one in the morning and one in the afternoon so the drivers could have a break inbetween. If there were signs of wildebeest crossing a river then we’d go out by exception on an all day trip. However that wasn’t enough for my friends who tipped the drivers extra to persuade them to take us out all day, every day. I protested because it was an extra burden on the rangers, to which one friend replied, “They’re used to it,” and, “He can have a nap in the jeep.” I don’t know if you’ve ever tried it but sleeping in a vehicle is never as comfortable as lying down on a bed. Anyway, she fell out with me after that because my objections made her feel guilty and spoiled the trip she looked forward to all year long.
It’s not only Americans who think like this but the derogatory manner towards servants and staff is pervasive throughout society so it’s no wonder that some people of African origin are still angry. No other nation has been as widely used for slavery as theirs and given that it’s only about fifty years since blacks were given the vote in USA, twenty since the end of Apartheid in RSA, the memory of inequality is still fresh. If we are to remember the Holocaust in WWII we shouldn’t be dismissive of the global indignity forced on Africans.
As for Sri Lankans, we’re treated like pond life by Arabs, even in Sri Lanka, because that’s how our maids are treated in the Middle East. An attitude encouraged by Rajapaksa's government, who only this yeawr banned women under 25 from going abroad to work in menial jobs, because of the inhumane way they are treated.
When I first wrote this blog, the issue seemed to be one about race but after looking at it in more detail, the core problem is to do with the master/servant relationship. I can’t see how this attitude can change organically. Servants will always be thought of as inferior, whether by their own people or by other races; and this is something I've felt quite strongly about since a child, as do others I've met who lived around servants. The most we can do is educate and legislate to protect basic human rights, which is all the more difficult when issues cross international borders or different races.
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