When I was at school, a good English friend of mine made a comment about the number of immigrants coming legally to this country. She then realised what she’d said in front of me, apologised and said her opinion didn’t apply to me because she knew me. I wasn’t sure what to make of the situation. I’d come across prejudice before but it was the first time I’d had to deal with the hypocrisy of racism. I wasn’t sure if my friend actually thought I was different, was regurgitating her parents’ views or worse still, if she did believe I was an immigrant who shouldn’t be in her country. This incident was a generation ago and attitudes today are less narrow-minded because of the many mixed race people around but every few years or so, I am reminded that an opinion about others may not apply to someone you know.
I was recently talking to a charity founder who works full-time helping vulnerable children. She has just had a baby and is juggling motherhood with her vocation. When we speak about charity matters, I can hear her daughter in the background but it doesn’t bother me at all. In fact, I enjoy it.
I mention this because when I have recruited people for a team in an office-based environment, I’ve been let down badly by working mothers and now am wary of taking on women with young families. I say this with caution because I know that many feel guilty about holding down a job and leaving their children with minders. However, my finance roles usually encompass tight deadliness and high stress environments and I don’t want to slave until 3am doing someone else’s job after I’ve finished mine; or not be able to easily speak to a colleague who’s been granted the privilege of working from home because they’ve got a young family. I can’t explain the frustration of being in an office, under pressure yet unable to have a professional conversation with someone because there’s a baby and a toddler in the background demanding attention. To get round this problem, companies should offer crêches in the office, subsidised or free if both parents need to work for a living. I do however have less empathy for those who chase high salaries or put career ambition first and expect others to regularly make sacrifices for their family.
I feel differently about the charity founder because she’s making personal sacrifices for the benefit of others, not herself. It also comes down to the environment I’m in. Most of my charity conversations happen while I’m at home and relaxed, whereas if I’m stuck in an office, surrounded by sober grey suits, I expect colleagues to have a business-like approach. It feels out of kilter to bring a family situation into the room, even if it’s over the phone, and it’s as disruptive as bringing children to work. If that happened, nobody would get anything done, including me. I’d be too busy playing with the kids. I also make more allowances for someone who thinks of others before themselves.
Which leads me to the £1,000,000 question. Without phoning a friend or asking the audience, do you hold an opinion about a group of people but make an exception if someone you know belongs to that group?
I was recently talking to a charity founder who works full-time helping vulnerable children. She has just had a baby and is juggling motherhood with her vocation. When we speak about charity matters, I can hear her daughter in the background but it doesn’t bother me at all. In fact, I enjoy it.
I mention this because when I have recruited people for a team in an office-based environment, I’ve been let down badly by working mothers and now am wary of taking on women with young families. I say this with caution because I know that many feel guilty about holding down a job and leaving their children with minders. However, my finance roles usually encompass tight deadliness and high stress environments and I don’t want to slave until 3am doing someone else’s job after I’ve finished mine; or not be able to easily speak to a colleague who’s been granted the privilege of working from home because they’ve got a young family. I can’t explain the frustration of being in an office, under pressure yet unable to have a professional conversation with someone because there’s a baby and a toddler in the background demanding attention. To get round this problem, companies should offer crêches in the office, subsidised or free if both parents need to work for a living. I do however have less empathy for those who chase high salaries or put career ambition first and expect others to regularly make sacrifices for their family.
I feel differently about the charity founder because she’s making personal sacrifices for the benefit of others, not herself. It also comes down to the environment I’m in. Most of my charity conversations happen while I’m at home and relaxed, whereas if I’m stuck in an office, surrounded by sober grey suits, I expect colleagues to have a business-like approach. It feels out of kilter to bring a family situation into the room, even if it’s over the phone, and it’s as disruptive as bringing children to work. If that happened, nobody would get anything done, including me. I’d be too busy playing with the kids. I also make more allowances for someone who thinks of others before themselves.
Which leads me to the £1,000,000 question. Without phoning a friend or asking the audience, do you hold an opinion about a group of people but make an exception if someone you know belongs to that group?
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