I know two people who have birthdays on Halloween. One is a lovely sweet lady I met on the internet through watching wildlife. She suffers from arthritis, is confined to a wheelchair and is surrounded by a loving, caring family. Her courage is an inspiration. The other person is someone I used to work with and who travelled to the office on a broomstick, with her familiar on a shoulder. She wasn’t skilled or first-rate at what she did, which is why she had to discredit colleagues to make herself look good. She often said she came from a not so wealthy background and that was what made her ambitious.
While motivation or the drive to succeed comes from what’s missing in our lives, insecurities are often used as an excuse for bad behaviour; but aside from extreme cases like with victims of domestic abuse, we all have choices in the approach we use. There are ways and means of getting what you want without alienating yourself from others. It's not about momentary lapses when you wish you'd held your tongue or kept your temper, it's about not treating others badly as a way to get what you want.
As far as motivation goes, middle class teenagers and adults often drift through life without a drive to succeed because they’ve rarely known hardship so they go with the flow; although they sometimes have a competitive side that shunts them through their career. They also tend to project confidence, which is more prized than skills. As a consultant, if your clients don’t believe in you, they won’t believe the advice you give. That’s why advisors often bluff their way through meetings then dash back to the office or ring a colleague to check they’ve got their facts right.
I know an IT manager who promised a client in a sales pitch that he could deliver a technical solution but he didn't admit his theoretical network was untested. Back in the IT lab, he realised his proposal didn’t have a cat in hell’s chance of working. At first he lied to everyone then confessed. Because he’d delivered the presentation with confidence he was a hit with the client and they gave him time to come up with another solution. Had he been nervous at the pitch, he'd have been forgotten straight away. (He lost the client in the end though as he couldn’t deliver anything suitable.)
At the other end of the spectrum, a lack of confidence can be damaging both socially and professionally, especially when a young adult, in which case having friends who believe in you can bolster self-image no end.
Sometimes prejudice is a barrier to success. If you’re female or in a minority social group you will inevitably come across narrow-minded views from even a moderate colleague. There are laws to prevent this affecting progression at work but unless it’s a serious issue, you say your piece, pick yourself up and get on with life. That moderate colleague is probably also being unjust to ginger-haired and disabled people, in fact anyone who isn’t a clone of their own personality.
Success isn't only about what has been achieved, it's also about how you got there. Nor can it be easily measured because everyone has a different goal. For me, it's about having an impact, no matter how small, through my charity work and writing. While I have a free hand with fiction and can let my imagination loose, my charity work keeps me grounded. It also reminds me that my problems aren't that bad compared to a six-year-old child who runs through an African village in search of aspirin for his dying mother's pain.
For a few who have achieved a certain level of success, popularity can lift them above laws that apply to the rest of us. J.K. Rowling passed off her pseudonym Robert Galbraith as a military man in the security industry, which leaves a bad taste in the mouth because the military put their lives at risk for the safety of others. To trade on their reputation was wrong. Does it make Rowling a monster or the Harry Potter books less interesting? No, but there has to be one justice for all. As with the IT manager though, once you’ve reached a level of popularity, it seems you can more or less get away with actions for which others would be answerable. It’s not right of course but it is regrettably the world we live in.
To end, I'd say that the working environment, private, public or not for profit thrives on competition and plays people against each other to a certain extent. Unfortunately this induces dog eat dog behaviour as in the colleague I wrote about at the start of this blog. Even people who are decent socially can be unfriendly in the office. Survival of the fittest comes to the front again. It's not just about individuals and their insecurities, it's also about throwing everyone together with a common corporate aim but separate personal goals. It shouldn't be necessary to be like this.
In the words of Rohini: If you want something, you shouldn't try and get it by showing off and saying bad things about your friends. Except if they’re not nice then Buddha will forgive you.
While motivation or the drive to succeed comes from what’s missing in our lives, insecurities are often used as an excuse for bad behaviour; but aside from extreme cases like with victims of domestic abuse, we all have choices in the approach we use. There are ways and means of getting what you want without alienating yourself from others. It's not about momentary lapses when you wish you'd held your tongue or kept your temper, it's about not treating others badly as a way to get what you want.
As far as motivation goes, middle class teenagers and adults often drift through life without a drive to succeed because they’ve rarely known hardship so they go with the flow; although they sometimes have a competitive side that shunts them through their career. They also tend to project confidence, which is more prized than skills. As a consultant, if your clients don’t believe in you, they won’t believe the advice you give. That’s why advisors often bluff their way through meetings then dash back to the office or ring a colleague to check they’ve got their facts right.
I know an IT manager who promised a client in a sales pitch that he could deliver a technical solution but he didn't admit his theoretical network was untested. Back in the IT lab, he realised his proposal didn’t have a cat in hell’s chance of working. At first he lied to everyone then confessed. Because he’d delivered the presentation with confidence he was a hit with the client and they gave him time to come up with another solution. Had he been nervous at the pitch, he'd have been forgotten straight away. (He lost the client in the end though as he couldn’t deliver anything suitable.)
At the other end of the spectrum, a lack of confidence can be damaging both socially and professionally, especially when a young adult, in which case having friends who believe in you can bolster self-image no end.
Sometimes prejudice is a barrier to success. If you’re female or in a minority social group you will inevitably come across narrow-minded views from even a moderate colleague. There are laws to prevent this affecting progression at work but unless it’s a serious issue, you say your piece, pick yourself up and get on with life. That moderate colleague is probably also being unjust to ginger-haired and disabled people, in fact anyone who isn’t a clone of their own personality.
Success isn't only about what has been achieved, it's also about how you got there. Nor can it be easily measured because everyone has a different goal. For me, it's about having an impact, no matter how small, through my charity work and writing. While I have a free hand with fiction and can let my imagination loose, my charity work keeps me grounded. It also reminds me that my problems aren't that bad compared to a six-year-old child who runs through an African village in search of aspirin for his dying mother's pain.
For a few who have achieved a certain level of success, popularity can lift them above laws that apply to the rest of us. J.K. Rowling passed off her pseudonym Robert Galbraith as a military man in the security industry, which leaves a bad taste in the mouth because the military put their lives at risk for the safety of others. To trade on their reputation was wrong. Does it make Rowling a monster or the Harry Potter books less interesting? No, but there has to be one justice for all. As with the IT manager though, once you’ve reached a level of popularity, it seems you can more or less get away with actions for which others would be answerable. It’s not right of course but it is regrettably the world we live in.
To end, I'd say that the working environment, private, public or not for profit thrives on competition and plays people against each other to a certain extent. Unfortunately this induces dog eat dog behaviour as in the colleague I wrote about at the start of this blog. Even people who are decent socially can be unfriendly in the office. Survival of the fittest comes to the front again. It's not just about individuals and their insecurities, it's also about throwing everyone together with a common corporate aim but separate personal goals. It shouldn't be necessary to be like this.
In the words of Rohini: If you want something, you shouldn't try and get it by showing off and saying bad things about your friends. Except if they’re not nice then Buddha will forgive you.
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